egotist, quote

2nd term START!

Technically, my second term of grad school started today, but realistically, my first class isn't until tomorrow, so...Today...I read 2 books and watch 2 episodes of outlander.  and that pretty much took the majority of the day.

Collapse )
Collapse )

in other other news, my tumblr kicked me off a couple months(?) ago and I haven't been able to log-in since.  so that sucks.

Deathgaze's bassist, Kousuke, joined a new band and its not a VK band--it's a metal (core?) band of some sort.  it's probably horrible of me to feel this way, since I am a fan of several vk bands, but I'm a little proud.  Like, it was always my dream that Deathgaze would come out of their hiatus having reinvented themselves as a metal band rather than VK (it just seems like a logical progression, and the best way for them to grow, to me?)... so it is a little sad that so far, its only Kousuke (who was in a world touring metal band pre-deathgaze as well), but I have hopes for all of them! :p

(no subject)

It feels like I've been on summer break forever, and a little like it'll never end.  But I suppose its actually a little more than half over.  I feel like I shouldn't complain about having such a break, and my parents trained me to never complain that something is "boring," but I'm nearing that point.  I watch tv/movies, read books from the library, and go on walks because these are all things that are free.  Considering the fact, that basically, I own nothing and can't afford to buy anything--I need a hobby.  haha. such is life.

I ended up going to Seattle for a weekend to meet-up with my sister and parents.  Basically I ended up spending four days laying in her yard, sleeping in the sun--like a giant lizard.
The reason for the visit, of course, was to see a special travelling exhibit on Pompeii.  It was pretty awesome.  The exhibit was basically arranged like we wandering through a giant roman villa, from room to room, with all the appropriate artifacts in each room.  Then through the garden and through a few various town buildings--theater, brothel, etc.  Then we ascended to another floor where they introduced us more specifically to the day of the famous eruption of Mt. Vesuvius.  This was done by locking us in a giant room with a movie screen that reenacted (sort of) the eruption.  Shaking the floor and walls,"smoke" filling the room, and the loud sound of earth moving until you couldn't feel, see, hear, or think about anything else.  awesome.
Then led out of the room we found ourselves amongst the dead.  The reason Pompeii is so famous of course is because the way things were preserved by the ash, including people's last moments.  The plaster casts of the people were absolutely heart rending.

And then I came back to Vancouver and did massive amounts of nothing.  haha. no I've went dancing with friends a couple times, and generally hung-out with my librarian friends.  But still, mostly empty days here.

I have an interview tomorrow for a VOLUNTEER position at Vancouver's "Bard on the Beach" which is basically their crazy expensive version of shakespeare in the park.  Crazy, to me, that I have to interview just to work for free...but I guess we'll see...

This has, of course, got me thinking about Shakespeare.  While I was working in data entry I listed to a lot radio theatre and dramatic readings of shakespeare--I worked my way through all his comedies.  This past semester I've been slowly working my way through the tragedies, in a mix of dramatic readings and live performances on youtube (did you know there's a romeo and juliet with orlando bloom? in one of those "modern" setting/original language versions?), but I realized I've NEVER read, heard, or seen (in their complete forms) any of the histories.  So, that's next I guess.

Then on Wednesday a concert starring THREE of my favorite bands ever--Septicflesh, Moonspell, and Deathstars.  Totally looking forward to it.
Collapse )
Then classes start the following week. Thank God! Something to do!

Oh and grades were finally posted for my semester.  I got 'A-'s, so I guess I'm happy with that, except this little part of me that isn't ever happy with my grades (because F*ckin' A minuses! GEEZ! lol)...
egotist, quote

the end of the beginning. again.

My first semester of grad school isn't officially over, I still have two assignments left to turn in, but my last class was yesterday.  Summer semester starts the second week of May, so I have roughly three weeks of downtime.  I'm looking forward to it, I hope to find a few amazing books at the library, maybe do some touristy things.  I've been talking to my parents about meeting for a couple days in Seattle to go see an exhibit on Pompeii.  I think it would be really cool.  The best part of this plan, is convincing my parents to bring me more of my stuff from their house, so I can have more stuff here.  I love my stuff! haha. yes, I'm super materialistic and attached to my stuff.  I'm excited about the possibility of reacquainting myself with my waffle iron. and my swimsuit. and my yoga mat. and whatever else I can think of between now and then...

I've started applying to jobs in the area.  I've had one interview so far, which is actually better than what I had back in Idaho.  It took me about 200 resumes before I got an interview there and only about 10 here. . . even though the interview sucked and I didn't get the job at least I had an inteview.  That makes me feel better about my prospects here.  I guess we'll see if that feeling actually turns out to be right.  That's another thing I plan for the three week break between semesters--send out more resumes.  Fingers crossed that I either find something that is completely stress free, or at least tangentially related to my studies.

Interviewing, however, has brought back a whole bunch of feelings that basically sum up to social inadequacy.  It's hard enough to talk to people I actually like, let alone to complete strangers.  And if I have to rely on the interview process to determine my job then I'm never going to have a good job...because people don't generally like me very much. Especially not upon the first meeting.
Oh well, it's just a feeling.  I'll get over it.  I hope.

Bangya pts - 70

I saw this making the rounds on Tumblr and thought it was pretty funny.
Because pretty much, I've done ALMOST all of these things.
I was going to cross off the one's I had done and then realized it would be way easier to cross of the one's I haven't...

Bangya Experience Points!
Collapse )

It's hard not to feel nostalgic for that lifestyle.
It's easy to forget the hard or sad bits and begin to wonder why I left and get lost in dreams of going back instead of going forward.


I finished the website project.  It basically looks roughly the same as one I designed for a similar project back in 10th grade.  So, obviously, that was a great use of my time.  [insert eye roll here]

But at least now I can move onto other projects.  Sometimes I get a little too caught up in homework and lose sight of my goal to keep a balance on life.  I guess that's why it's something I'm working on, because it's something that still happens so easily.  I'm still struggling to establish any life outside of school.  I've only this week started chatting with a couple of Japanese people from a language exchange site.  Those usually fizzle out really fast though are always fun for a while.  I haven't been practicing, so it's quite a challenge to remember how to string sentences together!
And I found a local writing club--I really want to attend and meet up with other writers.  I think that might be a good group for me outside of school.

We only have two more weeks of class, which seems really strange to me.  Even at my undergrad with 12 week semesters we finished the year closer to June.  I don't feel like I've learned enough to be finishing a semester yet.  The worst part is all the ads for summer/winter term jobs have appeared.  So simultaneously we're all attempting to finish the last two weeks of school (everything is DUE!), while competing for the limited amount of school provided work-learn jobs.
I don't actually know what minimum wage is here, but the school's library jobs pay about 3 times as much as I was earning in Idaho.  So, basically I can work part time here and make the same amount as my full-time Walmart job at home.  That's pretty awesome.  Of course, cost of living here is also more...

webpage suck

I feel so guilty everytime I get on to LJ right now because I've yet to reply to several comments on my last post.  I've replied in my head, I swear!  I read them all!

But I am so stressed out about this project for school and it's ridiculous.  We have to build an 18 pg website.  And it's not just a free for all, but there's all these little details we have to include.  And ALL the media we use has to have permission for use. and we have to do a giant research project to provide the content for the site.  But most of all, I had everything done, except there's something wrong.  Because it's not working.  at all. and I can't find any errors in the coding.  But it's NOT linking to my external CSS sheet and we have to use this horribly non-intuitive program (free!--- get what you pay for), KompoZer, for the project.  So I'm not at all sure if it's the program and there's a button somewhere I didn't push or if there's something wrong with the code or ???

So after it didn't work for several days, I deleted it and tried again.  And again. and again.  and now I'm pretty much at ground ZERO with a week left.

I'm so tired of computer-ing. 

Chinese New Year in Vancouver

Last week as part of my vacation I went to Chinatown to enjoy their New Years parade.  Although it's touted as the second (or first?) biggest parade outside of China I found it pretty underwhelming.  I guess parades aren't really exciting once you reach the age where they are no longer handing candy to you, but in large part I found the other attendees to be extremally frustratingly annoying.  But other that. It was GREAT! haha.

When I was in Taiwan I went on vacation during the New Year and went to a non-chinese country, so I never experience their new years parade--if there even was one.  But this parade did bring a lot of memories of the Ghost Festival.  There was a parade for that too, and fireworks, and more poignantly it was where I met my first kind of boyfriend (to say boyfriend gives too much value to our relationship or lack thereof. we went on dates. he got drafted. we met up a couple times during his leave).  So I've been in that kind of nostalgic place remembering Taiwan and all the 'first times' that happened there.

Sometimes it's really frustrating to repeat the 'first' experiences in a western country, as if they've become 'firsts' a second time because the cultural differences innate in the experiences.  It's really frustrating sometimes to realize you are almost 30 years old and you have no idea how to do something because when you learned how to do it you were in a different country with different expectations, protocols, and methods.

Basically, sometimes I feel really dumb and naive for my age.  This really tends to strike me as I talk to more and more people in my classes at school.  Many of them are straight out of their undergrad, 22-23 years old.  A great deal of the time I feel like I am in exactly the same place as they are, learning the same life processes (and obviously, sharing a large part of our life--grad school).  And then sometimes they say something or recall a memory from when they were kids and I'm just like, WOW. They are so young. What am I doing hanging out with them-am I being that creepy person?

Everytime I see a birthdate from the 90s I absolutely freak out inside my head. 

(no subject)

turned in the 1st paper of grad school.  Feels so good to have it out of my hands now.  In about a week I'll have to start freaking out again as it'll be time for it to return with a grade on it....
Have done a couple smaller assignments since then.
Starting a web page design assignment.  We have to choose a topic regarding "information technology" and design a webpage about said topic.  So I chose Music information technology and am now in that happy nerdvana stage where something I love to read about and often blabber about becomes useful in the real world (well, school, anyway).  properties of soundwaves, analog vs. digital recording (records, CDs, or mp3s?), what is an mp3 and is it different than .wav?  what does compressing a song do to the quality? just how does the Shazam app work? these and other exciting things... XDD

My weekends are god awful long and I haven't been able to find a job yet...[not that I've actually looked yet.  Still haven't received my Canadian equivalent of a SSN, so kind of illegal to actually pay me for my services.] I'm super excited about the possibilities though--so many THINGS and PLACES and PEOPLE.  I love big cities.
So in place of only having massive amounts of required reading and extremely limited funds I've also been watching lots and lots of tv/movies.  Powerwatched the first 3 seasons of Games of Thrones over the last weekend.  Taking a small break before i start the fourth... It's quite good, though not nearly as amazing as the obsession people have seems to suggest.
Outlander!! (power watched all 8 episodes in one sitting)  AMAZING!!!  This was one of the first romance novels my mom let me read while I was growing up and has kind of become the standard to which all others are compared.
Finished all of Big Bang Theory.
A fun new(ish) version of the old story.  too bad it was canceled after 10 episodes.  I would have liked to see where it took the story.
Morganville Vampires webseries. ridiculous. but fun. and each episode is only 8 minutes long.  And amber benson from BtVS is evil vampire queen-type.  so that's fun.
The Librarians. I'm kind of going to school to be a librarian, so it's like required, right?  I'd watched the movies before (bought them, cherished their addition to my seemingly random movie collection).  I love the ridiculous levels of cheese and adventure.  but I don't really like episodic shows, so I hope it evolves it's storytelling just a little bit more as it seems to be heading towards...maybe.
the Mortal Instruments - so sad that they decided not to make the others in the series.  I thought it was quite good for what it was.  Plus, Jonathon Rhys Meyers makes all things ok.
Only Lovers Left Alive - I love vampires.  Love music.  but found it kind of boring. like, what was the point?
Guardians of the Galaxy - all it was cracked up to be.

etc, etc.
but I'm looking for more history/fantasy or urban fantasy type stuff--the kind that really focuses on characters and their development/interactions as they exist within the epic situation rather than focusing on the epic situation as the main moving force of the story, you know what I mean?  any recommendations???
Nodame Surprise

scary paper writing

Since I graduated college I've written a novel (or two...well, maybe 1 1/2...)
band biographies for an online magazine
blog entries for travel blogs
private journal entries
short stories
and lots of lists.

But geez.
Writing that first word of this first paper for school is hard.
It's scary.

I know once I get past this first hurdle I'll be okay again.  But convincing myself that I can do this?
I keep putting it off with Big Bang Theory re-runs.
The blank page taunting me.

How did I use to do this?